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theenginesshot: (pastpresent)

theenginesshot's Journal

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Created on 2010-05-21 01:23:52 (#517308), last updated 2017-07-15 (5 weeks ago)

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Name:theenginesshot
Birthdate:Oct 15
I'm Amy


I've had various journals over the years,but I feel like I've finally settled with this one.

I am: a fighter,strong,unique,not afraid to speak my mind.

I've been through quite a few major changes lately. I come to LJ to relieve stress and write about how those changes are affecting my life.


No, No I can't be trusted
Driving out here alone with my thoughts
My brakes are busted
And the engine's shot

Well I feel so messed up
I can't get clear
And I don't know what to do
Cause I'm neck deep in fear
My back feels like its been holdin' up the weight
And this house and these three cats
And my truck filled up with crap

with every little bang, every little push
every little step I take, I get closer
A second at a time, usin' my breath
Maybe it's true I've got a fear of success
But with every little bang, every little push
every little step I take
I'm gettin' closer
I'm gettin' closer
Yeah, cause life ain't so simple
No it ain't just blah, blah, blah
And I imagine my brain looks like a carousel on fire
And when I go into hiding
you know just what to do
You get it's not about you it's just
me fightin' me, fightin' me, fightin' me out here--Melissa Ferrick
Caught in a mirror
Looking through sympathetic eyes
I'll come to the conclusion
That believers are sinners in disguise
And I was blind

And if you ask me
I'll keep saying that I am fine
So just don't ask
And if you see me I'll keep
Flashing that winning smile
Cause that's my mask--Tara Maclean



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Self-Injury: You are NOT the only one.
      
Marriage is love.

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80s cartoons, abuse recovery, alix olson, angelina jolie, ani difranco, animals, antje duvekot, anything disney/pixar, autumn, bbw, bdsm, beaches, being adored, being femme, better than chocolate, bipolar disorder, books, borderline personality disorder, boston red sox, brian/justin, brooke fraser, buffy the vampire slayer, bunnies, butches, butterflies, candles, carrie underwood, catie curtis, christmas, coffee, collecting movies and music, computers, concerts, cuddling, disney world, edie carey, edward/bella, folk music, gay rights, girls, girls kissing girls, girls with guitars, girlyman, glee, going out, good sex, good sushi, green tea, happiness, harry potter, healing, heather nova, hello kitty, howie day, intervention, ireland, irish culture, jodi picoult, jon and kate +8, journaling, journals, katherine moennig, katie reider, kevin smith movies, kink, kisses, kissing in the moonlight, kittens, kris delmhorst, kurt halsey, law & order svu, lesbians, lighthouses, lilith fair, lj addiction, logo, loneliness, love, low self-esteem, making love, margaret cho, medical administrative assistant, melissa etheridge, melissa ferrick, mix cds, moonlit nights, movies, music, mythology, new hope, pain, paramore, phone calls, piercings, poetry, project runway, psychology, ptsd, puppies, purple, queer as folk, quotes, rainbows, reading, really deep thoughts, recovery, relationships, rent, romance, rough sex, sadness, sarah mclachlan, secret cutting, self-help books, self-injury, sensuality, sephora, sex, silence, singing, sleeping late, spanking, spirituality, spooning, starbucks, stars, staying up late, sugarland, sunshine, sushi, tara maclean, tattoos, tea, tegan and sara, thai food, the beach, the color pink, the l word, the ocean, the x files, theater, therapy, tori amos, twilight, wicked the musical, willow and tara, winter, women, writing,
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